It’s easy to fill a void, yet caution is needed to ensure critical mistakes will not be made when trying to quell pain by finding a replacement. Pain and frustration, which can lead to void-filling, be it with people, material objects, food, pets, and so forth, can – and often will – create further confusion and unfortunate consequences.
Quick fixes and void filling are temporary solutions to personal pain and emptiness. Exercise extreme caution before committing to anything, or anyone you bring into your life during such times. One must consider not only the personal impact this will have, but also the issues it may create for all whom you involve.
I understand this is not pleasant to read. Regardless, it is important to acknowledge.
Pain and loss are difficult enough. You must have faith that problem-solving and self evaluation will bring resolve to the pain; not the things, people and creatures you bring in to distract you from the discomfort and emotions you are feeling.
It takes time to clearly evaluate the situation. That said, patience is also a key trait when searching for meaningful answers.
Learn to avoid selfish behaviors. Unfortunately, pain often results in selfish acts. This tends to be one of the more damaging aspects of void filling. Not only can you unknowingly harm yourself, you can ruin relationships and cause tremendous pain to those who truly care about you.
Too often, pain causes a person to inflict pain in others. Be the words and/or actions intentional or otherwise, always watch yourself. Do not let pain speak for you; simply speak of your pain and express yourself in way that facilitates healing.
If you find yourself saying hurtful things to another as a result of your own pain, kick the ego card to the curb and don’t ever be ashamed to apologize. Chances are, and if the person who bore the brunt of your unkind words and/or actions truly cares for you, they will understand and know that pain is getting the best of you.
Each of these behaviors apply not only to the physical, but also to the spiritual. Reconcile with yourself and work thru the pain. Steer clear of void filling and recognize that your path will more than likely become littered with more obstacles and baggage if you hastily look for replacements.
Be responsible. Grow from the pain. Don’t fill it with people and things. I speak from the heart, soul, and . . . experience.