Sharing a thought, or two . . .Practically every day, I speak with people who are having difficulty dealing with the loss of a loved one. I totally, and completely, get it.
I am often asked:
What do I do? How can I move forward when I can’t stop thinking about the past?
My advice is always:
Take those memories and cherish them – the whole lot of them. You have had time to create these moments with your loved one(s), and that is the beauty you must relish and be thankful for.
The same applies to the tough times you shared. You must embrace the lessons and also be grateful for the opportunities that presented in the form of sadness, frustration, anger and pain.
One of the most profound ways to create change is pain. Pain is actually what drives change and forces us silly creatures to take notice; the challenges that often present requiring a conscious effort to listen to our body, mind and soul. Use this time to reflect upon how you can change, or what needs to change.
We must learn. We must be grateful. Even in the throes of grief.
Look at the past. evaluate it and then let it go. You cannot change it. Breathe in, and out. Dismiss the “should have, would have, could haves” as you will only create more anxiety. Replace those feelings with mindfulness and gratitude.
You have to be hopeful of the future but not take it for granted as a given right. You must live in the present, for today is what matters; it is what you have.
The present I speak of is THIS VERY MOMENT in time when you should be thankful for each and every yesterday – the lessons, the laughter, the love and the pain. It is also the same moment to rejoice and aspire to start anew if given a tomorrow.
Your departed loved ones do not want you to anchor yourselves in pain, nor do they want you to live in the past. You must let it all go. Welcome this time and understand that they are still with you – and are present in ways beyond the grasp of our wildest imaginations.
It’s okay to grieve, but be aware that it can cause you to teeter and lose footing on the present. Celebrate and appreciate the time – all of the yesterday’s, regardless how many or few – that you were given with your loved one – and above all, be grateful.
You have not been abandoned despite the lack of physical touch, sight, sound, or smell you may experience. It is merely a time to adjust a physical and material relationship to one that is based completely upon the spiritual. This is the ultimate test of your relationship and it requires tremendous trust. Once you reach that point, the suffering will turn to enlightenment and an empowering of the body, mind and soul.
My role as as a spiritual counselor and healer is to help guide you and your loved ones to a state of greater peace. As a messenger, facilitator and sometimes, even a mediator, I too, must be present.
Thank you for sharing your lives and loved ones with me. I am very grateful for the chance to help, and hope you can walk away from our discussions and gatherings with a better sense of peace and comfort.
Know that the pain you are experiencing is not the end, my friend; it’s the ushering of a beautiful beginning of living with spirit. It truly is, if you allow yourself to live in the moment.
Acknowledge that yesterday is history and today is a gift. This is why we call it a present.
You must make a choice to BE PRESENT and allow this pain to teach you, and speak to you one step, one smile, one tear; one day at a time❤️