My Night Before Christmas Poem (a couple of nights late)

Tโ€™is the night after #Christmas and all thru the house, the dishes are done, need a Tide stick for my blouse ๐Ÿ‘š . . .

The soggy towels are flung over the chair without care, Iโ€™m picking fruitcake and berries out of my hair ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ . . .

The cats are full oโ€™ catnip ๐ŸŒฟ and with magazine in my lap, I had just settled down for a post-Christmas cr*p ๐Ÿšฝ. . .

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the toilet ๐Ÿšฝ to see ๐Ÿ‘€ what was the matter . . .

And what to my wondering eyes ๐Ÿ‘€should appear? Holy cow ๐Ÿ„ it was none other than Leonardo DiCatrio ๐Ÿ˜ผ drinking a beer! ๐Ÿบ

Away to the fridge I flew like a flash, he ran and hid as I discovered his #cat stash . . .

With the glow from the fridge on his brewโ€™s frosty froth, his nose twinkled all black – Oh no! My #cat has gone #goth ! ๐Ÿ’€

A little over 6, still lively and slick, I knew in a moment he must have been possessed by Satan ๐Ÿ‘ฟ – thatโ€™s sick ๐Ÿ˜ท . . .

Faster than a hot minute โฑ his brother Merlin bounded, he looked at his sibling completely astounded ๐Ÿ™€ . . .

He meowed and he hissed as Merlin called them out by name: @Heineken @budweiserusa domestic #IPAs ๐Ÿป

To the top of the table and then to the wall, Leonardo DiCatrio did tumble and fall . . .

As dry heaves set in, puking ๐Ÿคข as only cool cats ๐Ÿ˜ฝ can do, this beer-buzzed #feline was high on the nip ๐ŸŒฟ too . . .

Almost tinkling in my panties ๐Ÿ‘™, I heard his paws scratch the floor, to the realization my kitty had gone goth โ˜ ๏ธ and partied galore ๐Ÿคจ

As I drew a deep breath trying to rid him of a wild #demon ๐Ÿ‘น , my #cat possessed seemed illogical – without reason ๐Ÿค” . . .

Dressed in a tuxedo from his head to his foot, his fur was all tarnished with ashes and soot ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿป. . .

With a bottle of beer ๐Ÿบ in his hooligan cat grasp, he raised it to his pursed kitty lips and grinned as I gasped! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

With eyes glassy and soulless, his #cat stare was scary, I knew in a heartbeat ๐Ÿ’— I had to pray ๐Ÿ™ to Mary . . .

His feline fangs ๐Ÿ˜พ sticking out like tiny knives ๐Ÿ”ช, all the gnashing & thrashing was giving me hives!

Leonardo was trippinโ€™ – his tail thumping – legs hoppinโ€™ – I swear on my life it was a scene Straight Outta #Compton ๐Ÿš”๐ŸŽฅ

The #devil ๐Ÿ˜ˆ had taken ahold of my #cat ๐Ÿฑ the day after #Christmas ๐ŸŽ„What the hell is up with that?! ๐Ÿค”

I called out for help ๐Ÿ†˜ to get rid of the feline demon ๐Ÿ‘น , as he twisted his head around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist – I was screaminโ€™! ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคช

When out popped a beer-laden #furball – all green like pea soup. I had to refocus myself, run back and finish my poop ๐Ÿ’ฉ

The room went all crazy. It was hazy and stuff. Confident I released Leonardo from the demon, I finally finished MY โ€œstuffโ€ . . .

And when I re-entered the kitchen there was no #beer ๐Ÿบ or #cat ๐Ÿฑ in sight ๐Ÿ‘€ . . .

Leonardo DiCatrio was sleeping ๐Ÿ’ค it off, Holy hell ๐Ÿ”ฅ what a night! ๐ŸŒ›

The End (maybe)

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5 thoughts on “My Night Before Christmas Poem (a couple of nights late)

      1. Hey Jill,

        Since it really fits nicer in around christmas I’ve pre-scheduled the share for the 20th of December this year. It’ll create a pingback and is linked to your blog at the start and end of the post so that it’ll hopefully send you some new followers. ๐Ÿ˜€

        And if you fancy writing any other cat themed poetry I’d love to add you as a guest contributor. ๐Ÿ™‚

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