The Sublime

Reflections pertaining to spirituality, musings for the mind, and notions to nourish the soul.

January 2018 Horror-Scopes

A note to readers: My monthly “Horror-Scopes” are written for entertainment purposes, only. Regardless of any connection to reality, they are not meant to be taken seriously.

ARIES

Career – Work. Work. Work. It’s all about work this month. This is a good time for gossipy conversations at the water cooler, and even an opportune month for an office affair. Basically, you don’t even have to wait for a promotion; just ask and you will receive.

Finances – Who says it doesn’t pay to sleep with the boss? There are positive changes that will be taking place as your finances improve this month. Continue to brown-nose your boss and shower your coworkers with goodies. Keep the treats flowing and your bank account will start growing.

Family – Face it, with all of your office activities, you’re going to be a terrible partner and a neglectful parent. Home is the last place you want to be this month. You feel better in your work environment. Better stock up on TV dinners for the fam, as you’ll be “cooking” at the office – not at home.

Relationships – Affairs and trysts are all part of the agenda this month. A note of caution though; avoid leaving out your daily planner. You wouldn’t want your current partner to question all of those office “meetings” you have scheduled.

Health – You must learn to relax. All of these “extra-curricular” and work-related “activities” are going to be rather depleting. It’s a bit much to carry-on an office affair, and then come home and be expected to “put out”. Something’s gotta give.

Suggested movie: Disclosure (1994)

TAURUS

Career – Unlike your neglectful, zodiac neighbor Aries, your career will take a temporary dive. Without a doubt you have earned the title of Office Drama Queen (or King). This, due in part to your excruciatingly painful lack of patience. Perhaps you finally realized that you’re not going to get anywhere by repetitively calling your coworker a “daft sloth”.

Finances – Due to your careless office outbursts, you will find cash tight during the month of January. This comes after being placed on an extended, unpaid Leave of Absence. Unfortunately, this too, will spill over into your family and relationship sectors.

Family – Everyone is angry with you. Get a hold of yourself and things should improve heading into February. You may just want to completely ghost (avoid everyone) for at least the first two weeks of the month. That’s the safer bet.

Relationships – Quite honestly, your sh*tty mood was self-created and will result in a decreased sex drive. You have officially become known as an Ice Princess, or Freezer King, and all of your own making. You certainly don’t feel warm and fuzzy, thus noticing others will avoid you like the plague.

Health – Surprisingly, your physical health is favorable during this month but your mental health will be the main concern. You have effed-up all over the place at the office and have created a dark mood at home. Avoid drinking alcohol during this period. No need to imbibe a depressant and become a bigger d*ck then you already are.

Suggested movie: Cabin In The Woods (2012)

GEMINI

Career – Powerful and invigorating. Prepare to be handled, perhaps even bent over. Regardless, you’re going to enjoy it. Add travel into the mix, and your career is taking off!

Finances – The month of January is going to suck for finances. Nothing more to say about that. Looks like Ramen soup and bologna sandwiches – all month long. Snag as many office lunches and dinners that you can, as there won’t be any money to dine out.

Family – Congratulations! You’ve managed to put your family at the bottom of your list of priorities. It looks like it’s just work and love life from here on out (at least for the next 31 days).

Relationships – Hell, yeah! Get it! Get your freak on, Gemini! You are hot to trot. Enjoy! The world is your oyster. The prediction is plenty of “sexy time” for you this month.

Health – Good news! Your health is improving after slacking off at the end of 2017. Stay focused – or get fat. End of story. Oh, yeah, and practice safe sex (per my mother).

Suggested movie: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

CANCER

Career – Messed up. Laid off. Tripped up. Fed up. Yup. It’s a sh*t storm. I suggest you look for another job, far away from the current one.

Finances – You are lacking cash. Your reckless spending at the end of the year means you now need to play catch up. Don’t buy or invest in anything. Don’t even buy deodorant when you need it. Save that for next month. You’re going to need the money for gas to drive around looking for another job.

Family – Quite a bit of arguing is going on in your family these days. Hiding underneath your blanket is not going to do you any good. Try explaining the situation, rather than expecting them to just except your foul mood, Crabby-McCrabster!

Relationships – More turmoil. Just full of good news, eh? You’re fighting with everyone due to all of the work-related issues. Unfortunately, there will be break ups with some make up’s.

Health – It’s time for a “come to Jesus moment”. Stop with all of the self-pity. Stewing and sulking about work is not going to do any good. There is founded need to turn your “mental health day” into a mental health month.

Suggested movie: The Shining (1980)

LEO

Career – Your career is progressing slower than a mofo. Morale is low. Lots of clock-watching is taking place at work. Pick up a a Rubik cube to occupy yourself. This is also a good time to take an extended lunch, or, go home for a “Nooner”.

Finances – Oddly enough, your finances are great. Enjoy it now because they will take a negative turn at the end of the month. Investment idea? Try fidget spinners.

Family – This month finds your family life very fulfilling. The family dynamic is supportive and receptive. Consider planning a family vacation during the month.

Relationships – Woo hoo! There is an abundance of sexy time this month. Break out the lingerie and toys, too! And . . . don’t forget to use protection because there’s an increased chance for conception.

Health – Superb, but the bubble will burst the end of the month. There is a good chance you may overdo it during all of the bountiful sex you will have in January. In order to avoid muscle strain and back pain, use only age-appropriate sexual positions.

Suggested movie: Species (1995)

VIRGO

Career – You will find that your career is rocky but you can balance it if you can put a stop to the back biting b*tches in the office. Yes, indeed – they’ve been talking about you. Organize, and plot to succeed. You can do it!

Finances – Virgo finances are pretty good this month because you are naturally greedy. The number of penny jars in your home far outweighs the number of friends you have. Oh, yeah – it may also be a good idea to invest in stocks instead of sex toys. Some say it’s wise to put your money where your mouth is, but I guess it’s OK to put your money where your . . . (yep) . . . is. Hey, it’s all good though, since your mouth may be already be “there”.

Family – Family life is pretty good this month considering you Scrooged-out on holiday gifts. Try taking them out to dinner (not fast food). PB&J doesn’t count, either.

Relationships – You’re committed – for now. A firm believer in loving the one you’re with, does leave open other possibilities with those who cross your path.

Health – Very good! Take heed not to get overly confident and think that a “widow-maker” burger won’t do you in. After all, you’re only human (despite your delusion you are Wonder Woman or Superman).

Suggested movie: Gone Girl (2014)

LIBRA

Career – By all means, please, PLEASE, take an extended leave of absence from work and devote your time to family and relationship matters. This is a period of time when your job should come second, as you’re messing up everywhere else.

Finances – The month begins on a good note, but given the fact you now have to overspend in order to win back your homies, your bank balances will dwindle. Good thing you invested wisely because you’re going to need it.

Family – Things are turbulent on the home front. Your delicate Libra scales are completely imbalanced. Playing “nice and fair” for so long is about to come back and bite you in the ass, so heads up!

Relationships – Explosive arguments are on the horizon. Be prepared for the worst. Partners are sick of your Miss/Mr. Nicey-nice and want out. Grow a pair and speak your mind before you lose them!

Health – Your delusions are out of control. After your wake up call, there will be a need for you to sufficiently nap. This will recharge your body, mind and soul, and will also assist with the process of growing a pair.

Suggested movie: Psycho (1960)

SCORPIO

Career – You don’t have one. At the very least, try investing in a temp agency. You can’t live off others forever.

Finances – Your finances are among the best. There is no shortage of cash in your pockets. Given you’re a slacker, you must certainly have secured a Sugar Daddy, or, Sugar Mama. Either that, or, a wealthy family member is supporting you (perhaps both?)

Family – Seriously! Please stop asking your family to support you. Get a job! You’re stressing your family out. You owe them so much money that they will never live long enough for you to pay them back!

Relationships – You are very restless. You’ve been taking what you can, when you can get it. Your plotting and manipulation is catching up to you. You may one day find yourself alone and broke, so get with the program and start functioning like an adult.

Health – Pimping and jonesing for money is not very flattering, on any level. It looks terrible and shows up in every aspect of life. Additionally, your memory is shot to sh*t from all of your money-making schemes. Trade-in your shopping bags for weights and build some character.

Suggested movie: Heathers (1988)

SAGITTARIUS

Career – RED ALERT! Sink or swim, ’cause the ship’s going to go down. Don’t allow yourself to drown in the bullsh*t. Someone is trying to wreck your career.

Finances – Work hard, play hard. You can do it if you get out of the position you’re in and work your butt off. Revenge is the best medicine. Make a lot of cash and rub it in your former boss’s face.

Family – Although family is around you, they’re doing their own thing. There is a master manipulator at the helm of your household. Be true to yourself and let the other show their true colors. Your name isn’t “Matt” – YOU show them the door.

Relationships – There are many possibilities if you’re single, but you need to dedicate yourself to enhancing your love life. You need to be more attentive to your partners needs. Special book recommendations are: The Joy of Sex, and The Karma Sutra. Get creative!

Health – All is well with one exception: You need to stretch before having sex. An overly ambitious attitude will do you no good if you’re not limbered up. If you’re single; invest in “toys”. They’re fairly safe. I think.

Suggested movie: When Harry Met Sally (1989)

CAPRICORN

Career- Surprisingly, your career is very balanced at present. Whatever you’re doing is working, so don’t mess it up.

Finances – Your financial situation will greatly improve in more of a windfall-type scenario. This will either come from winning the lottery, or, may more than likely occur after communicating with a Nigerian prince (with a lot of cash to give). Your financial investment advice would be to contact an attorney to help you navigate your new-found wealth (and get you out of any legal bind).

Family – Your family is supportive, but p*ssed off. I mean, seriously? How could you fall for that Nigerian scam? Lucky for you, they have your back. Watch out for knives though, as an ally may not truly be on your side.

Relationships – Casual affairs abound in the month of January. If in a committed relationship; you will want to spice things up. You’re just a happy Horn Toad at present. Go with the flow.

Health – In addition to detoxing your body, mind and soul, you also need to practice safe sex. If New Year’s eve was any indication, you’ve been a naughty, little human. Scratch your itches, but don’t get bugs in your britches!

Suggested movie: American Gigolo (1980)

AQUARIUS

Career – Stop b*tching. Face it: YOU are the source of all of your work woes. Put on your big girl/big boy panties and clean up the mess you’ve made. Coworkers will be more responsive if you motivate, rather than demotivate and manipulate them.

Finances – Hey Slim Shady! Your finances are very good (for the near future) considering you’ve done pretty well at blackmailing people. FYI: Ponzi schemes are never a good idea.

Family – Everyone is mad at you due to your deviant behaviors. You need to offer them a whole-hearted apology – and soon. If not, you may find yourself without their support (and calling a bondsman).

Relationships – You are burning bridges. Stop being a sociopath and listen to those around you! They are trying to help you.

Health – You have a lot of work to do. There’s too much stress in your life right now. Invest in ways to heal your body, mind and soul. Start therapy. You need it – desperately.

Suggested movie: Oceans 11 (2001)

PISCES

Career – A promotion is possible this month. In order to grasp this, you must listen to constructive criticism and apply it to your job. It also helps to keep your big yap shut. You’re not Mr./Miss Know-it-all.

Finances – Decent enough, but stop spending money on chocolate, wine and hookers. Need I say more?

Family – Shocker! Your family is supportive of you – but don’t take advantage of them. Try to calmly respond to them, instead of your usual freak out attacks. Bottom line: they are giving you enough rope . . . just don’t hang yourself.

Relationships – January is a period of rocky relationships. After all, you’ve engaged in clandestine behaviors. This is a time where you should show remorse and fess up before the jig is up and takes you down.

Health – You’re in for a rough ride. You’re a hot mess. Stop all of the indulgences and salacious activities, or you’re going to get “woke”.

Suggested movie: The Craigslist Killer (2011)

Until next month . . .

Jill Marie Morris

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My Night Before Christmas Poem (a couple of nights late)

T’is the night after #Christmas and all thru the house, the dishes are done, need a Tide stick for my blouse 👚 . . .

The soggy towels are flung over the chair without care, I’m picking fruitcake and berries out of my hair 🤷🏼‍♀️ . . .

The cats are full o’ catnip 🌿 and with magazine in my lap, I had just settled down for a post-Christmas cr*p 🚽. . .

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the toilet 🚽 to see 👀 what was the matter . . .

And what to my wondering eyes 👀should appear? Holy cow 🐄 it was none other than Leonardo DiCatrio 😼 drinking a beer! 🍺

Away to the fridge I flew like a flash, he ran and hid as I discovered his #cat stash . . .

With the glow from the fridge on his brew’s frosty froth, his nose twinkled all black – Oh no! My #cat has gone #goth ! 💀

A little over 6, still lively and slick, I knew in a moment he must have been possessed by Satan 👿 – that’s sick 😷 . . .

Faster than a hot minute ⏱ his brother Merlin bounded, he looked at his sibling completely astounded 🙀 . . .

He meowed and he hissed as Merlin called them out by name: @Heineken @budweiserusa domestic #IPAs 🍻

To the top of the table and then to the wall, Leonardo DiCatrio did tumble and fall . . .

As dry heaves set in, puking 🤢 as only cool cats 😽 can do, this beer-buzzed #feline was high on the nip 🌿 too . . .

Almost tinkling in my panties 👙, I heard his paws scratch the floor, to the realization my kitty had gone goth ☠️ and partied galore 🤨

As I drew a deep breath trying to rid him of a wild #demon 👹 , my #cat possessed seemed illogical – without reason 🤔 . . .

Dressed in a tuxedo from his head to his foot, his fur was all tarnished with ashes and soot 🕴🏻. . .

With a bottle of beer 🍺 in his hooligan cat grasp, he raised it to his pursed kitty lips and grinned as I gasped! 😱

With eyes glassy and soulless, his #cat stare was scary, I knew in a heartbeat 💗 I had to pray 🙏 to Mary . . .

His feline fangs 😾 sticking out like tiny knives 🔪, all the gnashing & thrashing was giving me hives!

Leonardo was trippin’ – his tail thumping – legs hoppin’ – I swear on my life it was a scene Straight Outta #Compton 🚔🎥

The #devil 😈 had taken ahold of my #cat 🐱 the day after #Christmas 🎄What the hell is up with that?! 🤔

I called out for help 🆘 to get rid of the feline demon 👹 , as he twisted his head around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist – I was screamin’! 😫🤪

When out popped a beer-laden #furball – all green like pea soup. I had to refocus myself, run back and finish my poop 💩

The room went all crazy. It was hazy and stuff. Confident I released Leonardo from the demon, I finally finished MY “stuff” . . .

And when I re-entered the kitchen there was no #beer 🍺 or #cat 🐱 in sight 👀 . . .

Leonardo DiCatrio was sleeping 💤 it off, Holy hell 🔥 what a night! 🌛

The End (maybe)

#MeToo – My Story

 

It has been difficult listening to and reading about the stories of brave individuals who have come forward to share their horrific experiences of sexual harassment and assault. I, for one, am very proud of the women (and men) who have stepped forward in efforts to shed light on such an epidemic plight that has managed to infiltrate not only every crack along the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but major corporations, popular brands, and even in Washington, D.C.

Chances are, and unless you live under a rock, in a far-fetched, off-the-grid civilization, you’ve watched or have listened to at least one celebrity discussing their sordid, felonious encounter involving a recognized perpetrator. Once the #metoo movement began, the floodgates opened, ushering in unfathomable, detailed accounts of sexual harassment and abuse in the workplace, inclusive of the Entertainment Industry. The movement has also afforded a platform for everyday individuals to safely share their experiences.

Celebrities are in an important position to use their status to initiate and create change. Applauding the whistleblowers who made the move to put their abusers front-and-center, not only gave them an audience to convey a critical message to the masses, but it also helped bring focus to a more widespread problem in society that has dramatically impacted ordinary people. Together, their combined stories have resulted in a very important dialogue. Rather than submit to silence, it is by communicating those atrocities and speaking out – loudly – that will bring attention to these issues.

I know first-hand what many of these men and women have experienced. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, as well as sexual harassment that occurred as an adult.

Coerced into silence for many years pertaining to the child sexual abuse, it became clear to me that the last thing I wanted to have happen would be for any other person (child or adult), to go through what I did. It was not the stigma of abuse that hurt me; it was the imposed muzzle that practically killed me.

Since enduring the childhood trauma and torture, not a day would go by whereas I wanted to scream my abusers name to the rooftops, and alert other families of his lewd, lascivious and evil actions. As the mother of two children, the anguish and thought that my abuser could still be harming others, was almost too much to bear.

Things changed in the fall of 2009.

It was as if a bolt of lightning surged through my soul. On a humid, fall evening in southwest Florida, I picked up the phone and called the New York State Police to report my abuser. I was no longer afraid. I would no longer allow myself to be intimidated, or silenced.

This long, overdue stand against the man that committed multiple, heinous acts against me as a child beginning just before my 4th birthday (in 1969), and lasting into the early ‘70s, was about to commence. Come what may, it was time to grow my voice, not as a victim, but as a survivor.

After an initial call to find the proper NYS Troop Division to handle my complaint, I was put in-touch with Investigator Kelly Taylor. As we spoke, my heart skipped a few beats; my blood was coursing through my veins likened to the force of a million gallons of water pent up behind a dam wall. When I realized that Investigator Taylor was going to take my complaint seriously (not a given, considering the amount of time that had lapsed since the origination of the crimes), that dam wall went from having a tiny crack, to a full-fledge breaking of the gates. Still vivid, the memories rushed forth from me in an unrelenting, empowering release that would have harnessed enough energy to light the entire Universe.

I knew the name of my abuser, as well as the general location of his whereabouts. That was the easiest part of the conversation. Rather quickly, Investigator Taylor then relayed that the perpetrator was a long-term employee (maintenance worker) for the very school district I had attended Kindergarten, and the First Grade.

Understandably so, the most difficult aspect of the report was having to recount the many episodes of abuse, inclusive of rape, that occurred at the hands of this vile human being. Engrained in my head, particular details of the crimes flooded back to me, including scents, sounds, emotions and pain. The investigator handled my complaint with respect and dignity, and considering the length of time that had passed and associated dynamics at the time, took my report with the seriousness as if it happened just yesterday.

I understood that this was going to take time. Trooper Taylor conveyed his empathy for what had transpired, and promised he would do his best, given the situation. A few extenuating circumstances surrounding the initial molestation, which later went into abuse and rape, would mean having to handle the case gingerly.

The investigation went into full swing. Perhaps the most painful moment was the day Investigator Taylor contacted me to tell me they had interviewed the perpetrator and had a DVD confession. The perp’s confession came with the knowledge that he had beaten the statute of limitations for the crimes. Not only did he confess to what he did to me, but to 13 other children during that period of time, inclusive of a few children I knew back in the day. I was beyond disgusted. 

He also informed me that the perpetrator had molested an 8-year-old girl across state lines, as recent as 2008. He had used his relationship with a woman to prey upon her granddaughter. This information was almost too much for me to handle.

Upon ending the call, my blood boiled; my worst fears had been realized. I threw the phone across the room, shattering it into pieces. Sliding my limp body along the wall to the floor, I slumped over in the fetal position and wept and screamed for a very, very long time. I was not okay.

I blamed myself for allowing others to coerce me into silence and threaten me. It was incredibly excruciating to know that this revolting excuse of life had managed to continue to assault and abuse children for decades. I grappled with waiting so long to take action. Initially, I felt somewhat selfish for being concerned about my own wellbeing, all the while worrying about the monster on the loose.

In many ways, it seemed I was too late in coming forward and breaking the silence. But was it really too late?

My case went up to the NYS LT Governor’s Office, as well as the Superintendent of the New York State Police. With a host of statutes that protected the repeat offender, the case closed with a DVD confession and without an arrest. Investigator Taylor was as equally frustrated as I was. We both agreed that this sick bastard deserved to spend the rest of his life rotting in a small, concrete prison cell.

Well-documented, the investigation had many of us, including some of my own family, quite upset. With a confession in-hand, how could the laws afford such cruelty to innocent children? It made no sense. Frustrated and armed with an arsenal of information about my abuser, I decided to wait and see what would transpire. I had to collect my thoughts, and make a final effort to bring the predator’s name to the public arena.

For the next two years I contacted attorneys, legislative bodies, and other organizations to find out what I could do. Many of them stated it was too risky for them to publicly broadcast the perpetrator’s name. Some of them gave me tips on how to legally bring the story to light, and at least cast a shadow upon him. Carefully, I considered all opinions and advice, ultimately forming a plan to get word out (at least locally) to the neighborhoods the offender frequently trolled.

I began by contacting the school district. The district had prior knowledge of the investigation as the troopers had conducted meetings at the board during the investigation. Aware that something was amiss relative to their long-term, seemingly harmless employee, I explained the situation and stated I was gravely concerned for the welfare and being of the children he had within his immediate, and not so distant grasp.

Some calls fell upon deaf ears, while others did not. Word began to catch that something sinister had transpired. In July of 2014, I hosted and produced a special radio broadcast on blogtalkradio.com. During the broadcast, I discussed the details of my case, and the associated offender. Needless to say, that garnered some attention. A local news station wanted to cover the investigation but FOIL requests were denied.

My own attorney attempted to obtain information via a FOIL request, and was also denied. Paraphrasing, the NYS Police sent a letter in response stating that the case contained information that was extremely sensitive and could be dangerous to individuals listed in the report. IMO: Protect the predator because the statutes didn’t lead to an arrest.

Evidently, the local news felt best not to travel down that route and never covered the story. Understanding that news agencies are bound by certain standards, it was still a hard pill to swallow. I found it incredibly ironic that the offender has more rights than any of us he abused. 

Simultaneously, I took to social media and posted many details to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. In particular, the radio show and Facebook posts raised some eyebrows. Not before long, many parents living in the area of the perp began to message and email me not only in support, but to thank me for drawing attention to this matter.

In turn, some parents confided in me that there had been a long-standing “rumor” that the offender was “not quite right” around children, with suspicion having been raised about his strange behaviors. As a result of my announcements on Facebook and the radio broadcast, some came forward and stated there were known issues involving the offender and other children that were intentionally brushed under the rug.

Within a short while of my going public, I was informed that he was “let go” from his position at the school. Several parents, even school staff, contacted me to thank me. They were relieved he was no longer going to have access to the children. My DIY public awareness campaign was in full swing.

This was when things came full circle. I realized that it was not too late to do something legal, and within my rights, to warn parents and protect as many children that I could, given a limited scope of reach. I continued with my efforts to speak to administrators, educators, parents and even former victims of this evil creature, and despite lack of official charges and incarceration, the general area in Upstate New York knew his name, his whereabouts and what he had done.

Dangerous; yes. Worth the risk; absolutely.

I did ask the public not to react violently to the offender. That was not my point. I pleaded that no matter how angry or validated they were, that violence and aggression would only get them into trouble, and for what? A sick, sadistic, SOB sexual predator? He was not worth it, but to be armed with knowledge that would keep children safe, would be the best weapon against a living beast.

Investigator Taylor later told me that some of the predator’s victims had turned to drugs and alcohol, as well as sex crimes, given the emotional and physical torture they endured during their abuse by the offender. My heart broke to learn just how many lives he destroyed, or tried to. Going public seemed the best way to handle the situation, considering those risks, and also examining the immediate and collateral damage he inflicted upon the survivors of his abuse.

For that situation, I did what I could, and knew what I had to do. Going public made quite a few people angry, and many uncomfortable, but so what? Their anger and discomfort comes from a place of shame. I have zero regrets.

Another instance of sexual harassment took place when I was a Freshman in college (1983). I was dating one of the football players attending school on scholarship. He was, by all means, a nice guy.

On a cold evening in the winter of 1983, we attended a party at my boyfriend’s apartment building, nearby the college. Many of the football team members also lived in the same complex; some of them on the same floor.

Following the party, my boyfriend decided to drive another teammate and his girlfriend home as they had been drinking. I chose to stay in his apartment (his roommate was staying at his respective girlfriend’s for the night).

Crashing on the couch and nodding off to sleep, I woke to hear a knock at the door. Speaking thru the door, I learned it was a teammate and pal, wanting to know if “John” was there. I advised he was driving our friends home and would back in approximately 45 minutes. I went back to the couch and fell asleep – but not for long.

Several minutes after drifting off, I woke to hear several men banging on the door, telling me to let them in. Frightened, and greatly outnumbered, I grabbed my car keys and stood in the small living room wondering what to do. The bangs turned into deliberate attempts to break down the door. I ran into the bedroom, locked that door, and then into the bathroom, locking that door as well. I knew that I needed to create a barrier.

CRASH! Down went the front door. Quite frankly, I was scared to death but knew that if I panicked, I would be disadvantaged. They screamed and shouted grotesque, sexual expletives and statements about what they wanted to do me, as they battered the bedroom door.

Turning to the bathroom window, I looked out and down at a small snowbank two stories (yes, two stories) below. It was a matter of seconds before they breached the bedroom door. In response to the imminent danger, I opened the window, prayed, and took aim for the pile of snow that would hopefully break my fall. I then Wonder Womaned myself out the window with keys clasped in-hand. With a big thud, the fall knocked the wind out of my lungs. I landed on my right side, injuring my right shoulder and hip.

As I peeled myself out of the snowbank and gathered my senses, I could hear them beating on the bathroom door. They broke that as well, only to find I had escaped. As I got into my car, I could see them peering out of the window. As I drove off, one of the players yelled, “Let her go . . . She’s in the car . . .”

It was a long drive home. I was in pain, yet kept thinking that God had blessed me with the opportunity to get out in once piece. As frightened as I had been, I was incredibly thankful I had survived not only the fall, but the entire ordeal.

My boyfriend came home to find broken doors, and that I was missing. Someone told him I jumped out the window. He did try to call me . . . the next day. How kind. 

After reconnecting with him a few days later, he explained how upset he was, and that he and his roommate reported the incident, minus the attempted gang rape. He said that he “just couldn’t turn in his teammates” (15 of them) for attempted rape, and was worried many of them would lose their scholarships.

Nice, eh? Not so much.

His true colors were on full display. Shortly thereafter, we parted ways. Nothing he said could explain his actions to cover up what really happened. It still makes me nauseous to think about that type of reasoning. Your boyfriend says he is so proud that you’re a fighter, yet won’t turn in his sick and twisted teammates who almost gang raped you because he’s worried they will lose their scholarships? Sorry, not sorry, but the dude turned out to be a total loser.

I was threatened when I mentioned I was going to contact the coach about what happened. Surprise, surprise. At that point, I knew it was an uphill battle and did the worst thing possible: kept quiet – again. After all, HUSH was, and always has been, the name of the game. Until now.

It’s pretty interesting to dissect the reactions I have received relative to both instances of the abuse and attempted rape. I have had people accuse me of lying about the child sexual abuse, stating that it’s “impossible for a kid to remember those details” or just being a “kid with a fantasy”. Some have even stated that I, a young child, allowed it to happen. Seriously. WTF.

Pertaining to the college party incident, some have said that I “got what I deserved for staying alone at an apartment full of football players” and, the usual “you must have been wearing something sexy at the party” bullsh*t. All of these utterances and rationalizations appall me to the ends of the Earth.

From the perspective of growing up under sworn silence about my childhood attacker, I knew it was not my fault, and I have not lied about it. These are indeed, unfortunate, factual events involving dirty people. That does not make me dirty, or a throwaway.

I have learned that some people find it easier to disbelieve the truth, rather than to acknowledge it. And, for some, it pays (literally) to side with the offender. Neither are viable options.

That mentality has taught me to be strong and not let those moments define me. Yes, they are part of me, but the problem is not with me, the problem is with those that offend, as well as those that cover for the offenders. A person can state something didn’t happen but that doesn’t mean it did not.

It may have taken me 30 years to file a report against my abuser, but I can certainly tell you that by doing so, it was one of the most freeing, empowering moments of my life. The fact that Investigator Taylor took the case seriously resulted in an inter-agency awareness of a serial child predator living in a community and working with children – in a school, of all places. It put him on their radar, and regardless of lack of an arrest for the wicked acts he perpetrated, he will be watched very closely, from here, on out.

To summarize my #MeToo story, one of the biggest and most effective weapons we have against sexual harassment and abuse is our voice. We cannot allow threats, bribes or brutal intimidation silence us. We must be vocal and use our voices for not only validation of our experiences and associated feelings, but to help others facing comparable, terrifying situations.

Silence only imparts power to the predator. Given the pain and frustration often endured in such conditions, we must rally and stand strong together. With our experiences we play the dual role of student, as well as teacher. The lessons we have learned can be used to teach others how to get help.

Never, ever, let the past define you. Sexual harassment and abuse is dirty, but that doesn’t mean you are. As a survivor, find a way to regain your sense of self-worth. Take back your power and thrive. You can lead a happy, healthy life. And remember that one voice may barely be audible, if not heard at all, but together, we will become a deafening roar.

Thank you,

Jill

#MeToo

 

 

 

 

Everyday Hero

Everyday Hero
By Jill Marie Morris

Dedicated to all Everyday Heroes, including those in Las Vegas, and my own mother.

Stop
– Look around
They’re everywhere
In noisy urban jungles and the sleepiest of towns

They may not know your name
Nor will they judge you by color
And if you’re lucky enough one day
You may soon discover

The power of One
Who selflessly cares
Finding courage to rush-in
When the ugly head of danger flares

They comfort and guide you
From harm’s often brutal way
Protect you and hold you
And keep you safe from the fray

Without hesitation
Or questions
On angels’ wings they lift
Their actions incredibly brave
Their thinking impeccably swift

They are Samaritans of the Universe
And it’s you they blessedly choose
There’s no going back 
It’s win, break – no lose

They will usher you to safety
Or sit and hold your hand
They shine light in the darkness
When you can’t see
Run, walk or stand

They are Harbingers of the Divine good
That mankind can do
Without question or prejudice
They show up just for you

Give thanks to their souls
This Army of One
Whether aided from a fall
Or shots fired by gun

Randomly chosen
As impromptu Guardians of Life
They guide you to safety
In your moment of strife

Hey, look around 
Tell me: What do you see?
A homeless man
A college grad
Even an amputee

A nurse
A preacher
And even a Vet
These are Everyday Heroes
We will never forget

Their relentless mercy
And altruistic deeds
Your paths crossed 
– Souls forever entwined
In a moment of dire need

You may not yet know not their name
But will always remember their face
An Everyday Hero
Sent to you
With God’s grace

#LasVegas

Manchester Arena Bombing: Premonition Analysis

It is my intention to share this with the general public as to shed light on how abstract, symbolic and even literal, a premonition can be. Upon reading and dissecting this entry, you will find the premonition was full of clues.

Below, you will find photos of my actual Dream Diary premonition dated 4/21/17. There are four (4) pages. My handwriting was substandard due to anxiety caused by having the premonition, as well as the time I recorded it. 

Often, I sit up in bed, grab a pen and the diary from my nightstand and start jotting as much as I can without consideration for grammar, punctuation, and so forth. Note: After learning of an association between a premonition and an actual event, I make notations next to the original entry.


Transcription of Diary Entry

4/21/17 @ 5:00AM – I am literally freaking out! Premonition contact. Mike picked me up and we drove. It was nice out. Said had to go to mall. He took me. I see an odd looking building – mall – ? – Glass – strange shape in center – we parked car and walk into this place mall ?? Lots of stairs in all directions and come to a bridge with glass connecting to main bldg [building]. Tons of kids. Before we get to bridge there are Saudi’s – Middle Easterners – they watch us but don’t say anything. A Middle Easterner comes rushing to me and we breakaway – cross bridge. More kids – older teens – not little kids, and adults. There are restaurants, stores – looks like food court with many seats. I see a store – some odd merch. [merchandise] and start to walk in w/Mike and change my mind. We start to leave and I tell Mike we have to go home. Different Middle Easterners now on bridge – scary -halfway across bridge the guy rushes back to us and says, “Get out of here!It’s gonna start! It’s gonna blow!” He then says he’s not a bad person and superhumanly pushes us to the other side. Just as we get to other side of bridge a huge explosion takes place. Kids and adults screaming horrific bang. Pink and white confetti in air from center with seats – that is area hit with blast. Chaos. We run to park lot and are stopped again by man who says he can help us. He’s w/CIA and not to be afraid. We pass him and go to parking lot. We hear people screaming & crying. I start crying and praying for help. Mike says we have to go. – End of dream – I think bridge – the bridge means area or location – glass – sports shoes, mall ? or something like a mall. Saudi Arabia will have connection to this event before it happens, then Middle Easterners – kids – a mall full of kids. ? Pink & white confetti. Whoever this dream symbolizes will be radical event. I think on American soil but not sure – most in dream were speaking English but the before & prior to were Saudi, then a different M.E. [Middle Easterner] I saw palm trees and white – a lot of white. This is incredibly unnerving as it involves kids in some mall-like place. The blast was hellish. Heart racing so fast when I woke up. Saying prayers. JMM

Clue Analysis of Premonition

(Page 1)

Mall: I saw it to be a large, public building, holding many people and stated on more than one occasion it was mall-like. An arena is quite similar.

Odd looking building, Glass, Strange shape in center: The arena complex is oddly shaped. The center (box office and merchandise area) is where the bomb exploded. There is also a large, glass ceiling over the area.

Parked car: Refer to photo and parking structure adjacent to area of bombing. (BBC)


Lots of stairs: There are many sets of stairs both inside and outside of the arena.

Bridge: Refer to Page 3 for explanation. 

Tons of kids: I recall being somewhat confused as to why so many kids were at the “mall” but now understand.

Saudis and Middle Easterners: Refer to Page 3 for explanation. 

(Page 2)

Looks like food court: In addition to the main “mall” I saw an isolated area that appeared to me as a food court with kids gathering in it. The area of the blast is called The City Room, a smaller area next to the Box Office where people were exiting the concert.

Store…Some odd merch (merchandise): As stated by TMZ, ” . . . the blast occurred in the City Room, a rotunda attached to the concert hall where Ariana had performed minutes before. The space is used to sell merchandise from concerts and to advertise upcoming shows.” (Refer to photo) (VOA News / Europe) 


We start to leave…It’s gonna blow…Huge explosion…Kids and adults screaming: The bombing took place as concert goers began to leave.

Pink and white confetti from center with seats: Many photos show pink balloons had been dropped from the ceiling at some point during the concert.

(Page 3)

I think bridge – the bridge means area or location: This was actually one of the biggest indications of where the event was to take place. I was focused on the actual bridge when in fact, the address of the adjacent parking structure where the explosion took place is: NCP Car Park, New BRIDGE Street, Manchester (Refer to photo). (Google)


Saudi Arabia will have connection to this event before it happens, then Middle Easterners: As the timeline unfolded, President Trump visited Saudi Arabia on 5/21 (the day prior to the bombing), and was in Israel on 5/22 (the day of).

Radical event: ISIS claimed responsibility and the suicide bomber was radicalized.

Most in dream speaking English: More confusion on my part, as I was not quite sure if this was going to be a U.S. event. The United Kingdom fits into this.

In conclusion, this is one example of how a premonition will present. An interesting aside is the fact it occurred on 4/21/17, and the event took place on 5/22/17: One month and a day following the vision.

The Manchester England Tragedy 

Having a difficult day processing what has happened with the most recent premonition involving Ariana Grande. I am contemplating releasing the actual Dream Diary entry for the simple reason that one will be able to see literal and symbolic elements of a psychic premonition. 

I had advised several people of those details after waking, on the morning of 4/21. I continued to pray that the premonition would not come to fruition, given the strong element of children associated with it. 

Terror is inexplicably evil. More so, anything that involves children goes beyond atrocious. To target an event highly centered around children and young adults, is reprehensible.

I always ask for others to pray, or chant, in hopes of lessening the impact. I also believe that a joint effort will positively combat the negative connotations of such a premonition. 

We must look for the miracles in the midst of violence. We must not allow ourselves to hold onto fear, yet be wise and use these tragic moments in history to educate and inform. We must also rely onto our spirituality and faith to get us through such trying times. 

My heart is heavy. I cried to my son, my partner,  and to my mother last night. This is one aspect of my abilities that can cause great pain. Far too often, the good I see and foretell gets lost on a larger scale, as people do not seem to want to hear about someone else’s good fortune or joy; they are interested in much more widely appealing visions. I understand that. 

Please continue to pray for the victims, their families, friends and the community of Manchester. Also, and not to be minimized, pray for Ariana Grande. I cannot imagine the shadow this has cast upon her, and the scar that will undoubtedly form in her heart given her innocent association to this tragedy. 

I weep, just as I have in the aftermath of other visions that have ended so brutally, and especially, for the parents who have lost children in light of these monstrous acts against humanity. 

Will this premonition break me? No. However, I will grieve and look at the lessons that come forth. I will also look for the miracles that are born from this nightmare. 

Pain and heartbreak may carry the hallmarks of weakness, yet in the end, can certainly make us wiser, and stronger. To be a strong individual is a blessing, and to become united in a show of strength during adversity, all the greater.

Premonition Dated 4/21/17

I wish that I had better news. As you know, I like to keep you posted with my premonitions. 

On 4/21/17 I tweeted and posted asking for prayers due to a horrible premonition. Unfortunately, the details recorded in my dream diary match up (literally and symbolically) to the event in Manchester, England, at the Ariana Grande concert. 

Please pray for those who have lost their lives, or have been injured, as well as their family, friends and the community. Thank you for offering to pray following my request on 4/21. 

We have more work to do🙏🏻❤️